Hello, I'm back to post here. Just changed my header and somethings here. Well, too many things I have to write. Here we go with the first topic. I'm done with the national exam, and all of the exam. Now I'm waiting for the pass announcement at 7th of may. I have nothing to do, and I thought I'll spend tonight to post anything I want here.
Well, I've broke up, not 'I' but 'we'. Yap, we broke up at 5th of April, 2 days after we had our first year anniversary. I spent 2 weeks to cry for him, yap, two weeks. I cried everyday, everynight. But now, I don't cry anymore. And I won't, yes really I won't cry for him anymore, I swear. Too much tears, time, energy I wasted for him. I don't know. But now I'm regret. I was too tired with everything but I still didn't wanna' break up with him. But he said, this is the best way for us. I knew this isn't the best way for us, this is the best way for him. He said I can't excite him anymore, I can't make him happy anymore, he said I'm just such a 'trouble maker', he said I'm a danger for him. I wish I would make him stay, but I can't. Those tears didn't make him stay, those words didn't either. Well, I can't lie, I was so in love with him. But I was too tired with that relationship. You hurt me everyday, you make me cry everyday, we had a fight everyday, and you thought it was totally my fault, right? I wouldn't do it if you weren't start. I do it just because I need more attention, I need more love, I need you. You weren't there everytime I needed you. You always came late, I've calm my tears by myself, I've calm my fears by myself too. You weren't there to hold me when I cried. And your words just hurt my heart more and moooooooooooooooooore. Too much pain I felt, too tired. I know maybe it was my karma. And ya, I accept those karma with all the patiences. You don't know how hurt I was, right? Maybe you thought I was too selfish, well.... don't you try to go infront of the mirror and look at yourself? You were too selfish too, I couldn't stand it anymore. I thought it will be better like this, we're on our own way. You with your own way. And I with mine. Maybe someday you'll regret it, cause that day, you'll know how much I used to love you, how much I used to care about you. Just trust me. When that day is come, you'll regret everything you did to me. And maybe that day I won't love you like I did before, cause I don't wanna' love someone like I did to you before, it was hurt. More I love someone, more pain which I feel. Thankyou for everything, thankyou for did the best for me, thankyou. I love you, and that's what will I do. Just remember, I said I'll proof all of my promises, and someday I'll prove it. For you, Wsly.
I remember everything we had, those dreams, those promises, those kisses, those messages, those tears, those smiles, those memories, those phone calls, those photos, those jokes. Oh my God, I'm crying. Remember those dreams? Our dreams, it was so beautiful, wasn't it? Remember those promises? You've said it, but you weren't prove all of them. You just prove some of them, well it's okay. Remember those kisses? Our first kiss. Remember those phone calls? Remember those jokes? Remember those photos? Uhh......... :'''(
But this is the best way for you, isn't this? I'll be happy if you're happy. Your happiness is my first priority. I love you so much, that's why I'm letting you go, that's why I'm letting you free. Cause I know you'll get your happiness without me. You're more better without me. Well, I'm sorry for every mistakes which I did, too many mistakes I did, he he he. Just forgive me, okay? Haha. Thankyou for everything ya. I love you, Wis.
Okay, it's time to move on. Gue gak sabar nunggu pengumuman kelulusan nanti tanggal 7 may, takut sih sebenernya...takut bgt malah. Makin deket sama hari pengumuman malah makin deg deg-an gitu gatau knp, huhuhu. Skrg gue baru selesai ujian praktek, masih ada besok sih, tinggal olahraga tapi nya, katanya lari marathon gitu muter keluar sekolah 3 kali, hem. Gabakal kuat gua pasti, bisa sampe 10 menitan mungkin, hahaha. Mau nulis apalagi ya gue, bingung sih abis nya.
Oh iya, 14th april was my birthday. Nggak di rayain sih, cuma ngajak temen temen main ke rumah doang. Itu juga cuma ada Dinda, Elsa, sama Latigy, yg lain nya pada gak ikut, uuuu~ Pas siang nya gitu kan pada makan kfc ya dirumah terus main, foto foto, bla bla bla. Malem nya cuma makan pizza hut doang sm Wsly, Abie, Khrisna, Puput, Meidy. Melas banget deh ya gue pas malem malem ulang tahun nungguin ada yg telfon jam 12 malem buat ngucapin happy birthday terus blg kl dia kangen, eh ini mah nggak, di sekolah juga gak ngucapin sama sekali, ketemu gak nyapa gak senyum gak apa, hahaha. Tau ga syp itu? Wisly lah, hahahaha. Okay. Mau tau gak, pas siang siang gue di sms di ucapin happy birthday eh gua malah nangis, hahaha, geblek ya. Ya abisan gitu sih, ngucapin nya telat gak ngasih kado lg, uuu, gak deng canda, hahaha. Yaudah pas sore nya ketemu sih main sebentar. Trs hem hem hem, gaada apa apa lagi ya kayaknya. Paling cuma di sekolah doang pada "happy birthday to you" bla bla bla, ma'acih yah, unyu, hahahaha.
Nggak sadar sebentar lagi gue mau sma loh, o'ow. Gue juga butuh 'a new life' sih, capek juga kalo kayak gini terus, he he. Come on high school, come faster, hoho. Okay, I don't have anything to write anymore. So......bye bye ! I'll be back soon.
